dykeumentary

I am repulsed by images of smiling, happy food … that is about to be eaten.

You’ve all seen them. The cow standing at a grill in a chef hat…etc.
I believe that our humanity is diminished when we just stroll by this kind of thing.
It is really wierd that we barely notice these images. Here are some of the classics. I hope that you will add some un-happy meals to this page.

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Here is an example of everything that can go wrong with food advertising.

The lobster: It’s RED. Its DEAD. It’s already been boiled alive for someone’s pleasure. Which (I suppose) would make it hungry for a cool ice cream cone, but still. Then there is the lobster’s face, with frenchy eyes and mustache.

There are also the mechanical questions involved in the cake vs. sugar cone selection. For example, as the claws of the lobster close, it would be much more difficult to hold a sugar cone, rather than a cake cone.

And the ice cream? Appears to be grape twist, which seems very unusual indeed. The cone is smiling, too, and licking its own lips in anticipation of what? Getting eaten? The lobster has already been cooked, and so will be eaten by a human once cool, but the cone will be eaten immediately. And yet it smiles. Maybe the cone is happy to be licked to death (which doesn’t sound half bad, really).

Not great food.

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See what I mean? This is literally and figuratively NOT KOSHER!
(And did you notice the big weenie in background?)

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How about this staggering, “self-cannibalizing”(???) cone of fries. Sick! And this sucker is 6 feet tall!
We can be truly thankful there is no ketchup.

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I mean, really, people, if these tamales make such a good mariachi band, why eat them?
Let the music live!

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As a dyke, I always choose my vegetables based on sexuality.
I just wonder where she got those tiny heels? !
She is HOT, but can she handle my 400 degrees??!! Yow!

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Well, I suppose these are the frolicsome butch-yams that the femme-yam in the above photo is preening for.
They look friendly enough, but they must not be too smart, since they got caught.

(yes, I know the photo is upside down.)

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Ok, folks. This is from the CAREER CENTER at the University of Texas.
Honestly — Is “bar-b-q chef” a viable career for a longhorn cow? (pun intended)

This might be the most honest illustration i have ever seen at a university. It seems that universities are teaching students to prepare our neighbors to be our next meal. They don’t seem to be teaching peace and justice.

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I don’t even need to say anything about this, right?
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