dykeumentary

If you know my amazing, nearly unbelievable life story, then you know that a girl named Staci was very important to me. So imagine my surprise to see these photos of her! I don’t know if she even knows that I have issues with wrong-sized things, and food with faces! Wow. We really are sisters. (I talk about her in the video on this page)

How ’bout a (cyclops) faucet and tools with faces? Not only are these suckers as big as an elementary school students, they have little arms and hands, too. And they appear to be dancing “The Hokey-Pokey” Maybe they are at a wedding? Creepy. Puts a new twist on the name “Hell’s Kitchen” doesn’t it?

Yes, I was an elf at the 99cent mall. Yes, I was the Easter Bunny.
But I am decidedly NOT a “Furry”. Nor am I a person who would dress up as a huge potato for the sexual gratification of old men at a convention. This photo is shocking, disturbing, and horrifying. I regret having to post it here.

Surely you noticed that this is a gay event by the rainbow detail around the sign. Additionally, everything about this unhappy hotdog would be different if his outfit was decorated with ketchup, rather than mustard. Eeewww.

So I am never quite sure if this is an “Un-Happy Meal” or a Huge, Mobile ice cream cone. Thoughts?

(Unethical, I know, but I am posting these images in response to the comment:)
How I long for the design gods to send me a sign! Lo. this craziness is almost too much to bear.)

Discuss.

I have found my new home.
This place has everything I am obsessed with: food wearing hats and aprons (such as hot dogs, clams(?!) and chicken), gigantic, roof-mounted ice cream cones, the beach, gay male porn, and bad photo shoots with surly Russians. See all the photographic evidence below.

Ok, so here is a brand of food called Cuties. If something is so cute, why eat it? They look like someone I’d like to be friends with.

Now this next logo awakens my fruity hunger…

Thanks, Michelley!