(Copied from today’s Craigslist W4W section — the pulse of NYC’s hook-up scene)
I haven’t been on CL a while and I was just reading some of the post and I want to comment on all this stuff about “butch vs femme”.
There are a lot of us Femme types who do look for and love butches, but I’m sorry, some of you butches don’t have your head on steady at all. I’m more feminine (but I often do switch) and I love butches and I hate to hear other women hate on butches. But here’s where some of you butches go wrong:
First of all I’m attractive. No, I don’t look like Meagan Good…if that’s what you’re looking for get out of the game now and save yourself the grief. However, just because I’m into butches doesn’t mean I’m automatically going to be ugly. I can’t believe a butch herself said that, but that just shows you the mentality of some butches. If you think that the women that are into you are going to automatically be busted, then damn…what does that say about you?
Second, too many butches (like a lot of femmes) spend a lot of time worrying about getting into a relationship and don’t spend any time getting themselves ready to maintain one! Honestly, how many women, butch or femme, really get themselves ready to find “the one”? Not many! If you spend all your time focusing on just finding someone to date that’s all your going to do. Take some time learning how to treat a woman right and how to maintain a relationship and less time trying to find “the next one”.
Third, a lot of you are worried about really being like men, you turn out to be just as repellant as they are.
Fourth, as far as CL butches go some of ya’ll are just into way too much B.S.
Look here’s a quick reality check:
-If you don’t have pictures of yourself, don’t bother me.
-If we haven’t even gone on our first date yet how the hell are you tripping, asking me where i’m at, what i’m doing. Everything takes time, jsut because we talk on the phone a few times doesn’t mean you get the play by play of my activities every day.
-If you’re still messing with your ex girlfriend, jump off a roof and don’t bother me.
-Just because you are the “butch” and I am the “femme” doesn’t mean I’m going to coddle your emotional issues. Femme does not mean “MOMMY”.
-Butches (to me) should be fun, responsible, protective, intresting, involved, active. Like a bestfriend with a masculine twist. The butches I have met lately have been whiny, hateful, arguementative, lazy, psycho, super lazy, boring, unsure, self-hating, desperate and some other things I can’t think of right now.
And I’m not saying this to hate on butches because like I said…I love them. And I will probably continue to date them, even though I do keep an eye out for femmes more then I use to because a good butch really is hard to find.
Also this is coming from a girl who’s dated butches from my race and interracially. So when I say “butch” I should also add in “Stud” as well so people don’t get it twisted. Although most of the butches I’ve messed with lately have been white, I hang out in lesbian communities that are mostly black/hispanic. So I’m getting this kind of feedback from both sides.
Just wanted to let you guys have a few thoughts from a femme. Peace. Still love ya’ll but keep it together.
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